I’m at that part of a cold where I wake up every couple of hours with an impossibly scratchy throat and the only thing that soothes it is a cough drop (that i don’t have.) At the 12:45am wake-up, I foraged in the kitchen and came up with some sour cherry gummy candy rings. The sugar coating was just scratchy enough to get relief and the gummy candy acted like a sort of Pine Bros. situation. It was the best I could do, but I still saw 1:52am, 3:37am, and 4:24am. I figured I might as well blog since I’m up anyway. The birds are starting to chirp. It will be normal to be awake soon.

I realized yesterday that I am approaching my most misanthropic months — the ones leading up to a presidential election. It has happened without fail the last two election cycles. Slowly but surely as candidates start announcing and the political chatter heats up on the facebooks, people start to show themselves for who they truly are. And, spoiler alert, they’re kind of assholes.

As it turns out, it’s not just politics-related. It’s just that my people-hating meter becomes the most sensitive around this time. Maybe it’s the news cycle of terrible decisions and terrible responses to terrible decisions or maybe it’s just springtime. Everyone is shaking off the winter cobwebs and coming back to life. :::blink blink::: what? Immigrants are still coming in? ::::blink blink:::: Women are still allowed to make choices for their own bodies? This will never do!

I am generally optimistic about people. I believe people are inherently good. When they do bad things, I am forgiving. I look for the reasons. I hold them accountable, but I can usually see the path to how they got from innocent baby to hateful adult and when the bad news comes in like a steady drip, I can keep up with it. But as elections draw closer, people feel emboldened to show their true, horrible colors and the steady drip becomes a full running faucet. And once were in the full swing after primaries, it’ll be basically a breached levee. How could I ever keep up with that much? How can I ever explain away or see the paths from innocent to baby to hateful adult of that many people? Inevitably, I end up changing my fundamental belief that people are inherently good.

I hate people. I hate people who think Alabama is making the right decision. I hate people who shoot up synagogues. I hate people who are white men and insist on running for election in a crowded field of more deserving candidates. I hate people who think that class size doesn’t matter in the fifth grade. I hate people who think that their position as an elected official makes them superior beings. I hate people who don’t hold the elevator. I hate people who beep at people when they don’t notice a light has turned green right away. I hate people who steal parking spaces. I hate people who need parking spaces. I hate people who drive. I hate people who wake up every morning and get in my way. I hate that guy getting his coffee at Wawa.

See? See where I went? Misanthropy. Full blown, unapologetic misanthropy. And it won’t go away until 2020. And maybe not even then.

It’s 5:04 now. Maybe I can catch another 56 minutes of sleep before it’s fully light out.