Can NOT.

The other day, I overheard The Who and his buddy in the backseat of the car. It went like this:

The Who (as we passed a Trump sign): Why would anyone want to vote for him?
Friend: I know. What will happen if he gets elected?
TW: Well, he wants to build a wall all the way from Mexico to Canada! And make Mexico pay for it. But he won’t get to do it because Congress won’t allow that.
F: Yeah and he also hates all the people in Mexico.
TW: Yeah and anyone who has black or brown skin. He wants to kill them all.
F: So, if he gets to be president, that means he might shoot X* (a friend in their grade who is Black)
TW: I know! So he can’t become president!
F: He can NOT.

Second graders, you guys. This is what he is doing to second graders.

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XX.

I am so absolutely sick of the crazy fucking misogyny. And don’t tell me that that’s not what it is. When you tell me that you hate Hillary, that you find her fake and disingenuous, that you don’t trust her — don’t pretend that you would feel the same way if she were a man. Because it’s complete bullshit. Even if you absolutely believe it (which, if you took a second and actually thought about it, you probably wouldn’t) it’s not true.

You hate Hillary because she isn’t skinny enough. Doesn’t smile enough. Doesn’t wear dresses. Doesn’t get Botox. Doesn’t retreat when she’s challenged. Doesn’t stop asking for what she deserves. You don’t trust her because she lied? Fair. That’s fair. Just also tell me that you hate every other politician who lies or has lied. (Like Trump, for example. Except he’s not even a politician; he’s a fucking joke.) You find her stiff and insincere? I wonder if it’s because when she was her real self — remember the Texts from Hillary meme? Back when she had no shits to give about how pretty her hair looked or whether you were watching her while she looked at her phone because she had just spent 20 hours on a plane after meeting with foreign diplomats? — when she was her real self, you hated her then, too.

It’s crazy. I feel crazy. How do I live in a time and place where this double standard is so blatant — so completely obvious — and still people refuse to admit it? YOU. WOULD. NOT. HOLD. ANY. MAN. TO. THESE. STANDARDS. Admit it. Own it. Hate Hillary if you hate her. Distrust her if you distrust her. But at least fucking see the forest for the trees. If you’re a man, you hate her because you can’t stand the idea of a smart, strong, qualified woman who refuses to just sit the fuck down when you tell her to. And if you’re a woman, you hate her because she threatens the notion of everything you think a woman is supposed to be (because men have been telling us this for eternity): mild-mannered, smart (but not too smart) kind, docile, deferential, and quiet.

I get it, you guys. Change is hard. US presidents are men. Presidents are MEN. They wear navy blue suits and power ties. They give firm handshakes with their big hands. They have pretty wives who take the smaller office down the hall. They address the nation with deep voices that convey strength. We trust men. Men rescue us. Men keep us safe. Men are providers. Presidents are not women. Jesus. How could a woman — a mother, a grandmother — do all of that? I get it. A mindset is a hard thing to change.

But, seriously. Fucking suck it up. Hillary Clinton is the only goddamned candidate. She has experience, intelligence, stamina, presence of mind, impulse control, and the fortitude to do this job. Yes, yes. She has a vagina. She has that, too. But maybe just pretend she doesn’t for a second. Because I would bet my life, the life of my kid, and my coldest yellow Vitamin Water that you would never ever hold a man to the impossible standards of perfection to which you are holding Hillary.

Just fucking knock it off already. I’m over it.