Positive Relationship Challenge, Day 2.
I missed a couple of posting days because Grandma, The Who, and I took a road trip up to Vermont for an “eating and learning” mini-vacation, which included tours (and samples!) at the Ben & Jerry’s factory, Cabot Creamery, and Bragg’s Sugar House. Ice cream, cheese, and maple syrup. It was a terrible, intolerable trip. How did we ever manage to make something good out of it? 😉 We somehow found time to also go swimming, play ping pong, and play air hockey. But, alas, no time was carved out for blogging. So, here’s Day 2, albeit on Day 4. You still with me?
Today, I’m bringing the parenting part of our relationship into sharp focus because is it one of the places where we really shine as partners. It is also, not surprisingly, one of the things that really challenged(s?) our relationship. I feel so lucky that m* and I not only both really value and take seriously the responsibility of raising a child, but also that we share almost all of the same core values and beliefs about how to do that. We very rarely argue about parenting choices and we have found it both easy and rewarding to discuss our parenting differences when they arise. The Who has a good and whole relationship with each of us individually and with both of us together. We do a lot of things wrong as a couple, but mostly, we do co-parenting right.
Of course, it hasn’t been a cakewalk. And the fact is that having a child, as it does for so many (most?) relationships, put a strain on our relationship that was nearly insurmountable. We really struggled as a couple when we were new parents and there were definitely times when neither of us was sure we would make it through together. Parenting is hard. work. (This is not news to any parent.) It challenges every single thing about a person. It makes us look at our own childhoods, our present selves, and our future. It exhausts us. It tries our patience. We spent a bunch of sleepless nights over many years and as a result, were snappish, resentful, and impatient with each other. There wasn’t much there in the relationship department for a long time; we were just hanging on.
But that is not the case now. Now we have a kid who sleeps and gives us time alone together. Now we have battled through and come out on the other side of difficult times. Now we have seen one another parent and been awed by one another’s commitment to it. Now, it’s good.
So, that’s Day 2. We work hard at being good partners and good parents at the same time and although some days we fail hard, most days we can call it a success. I have said before that there’s no one I’d rather be on this parenthood journey with and I really, truly mean it.