Bullets.

I believe it’s time for some bullets, yes?

  • I am no longer sick and coffee is just as good as I remember it. Maybe better.
  • I’m going gray. You heard it here first. (Or, in some cases, second.) It feels like a revolutionary decision — to be in my early 40s and to stop coloring my hair, which has only ever been brown, dark brown, or burgundy. Maybe I will have more to say about it as the growing-out process continues. Or maybe not. Some women are the first in their family to go to college. I, near as I can tell, am the first woman in my family to stop coloring her hair for any reason other than dementia.
  • I’ve been thinking about risk-taking behavior lately. And I don’t mean, like, bungee jumping or mountain climbing. I mean small choices with potentially big implications. Going to bed without brushing. Sending a text at a red light. Skipping doctor visits. I never thought that I was a risk-taker or terribly self-destructive. I wear my seat belt. I stay within 10 mph of the speed limit. I don’t do drugs and I rarely drink more than a glass of wine. But recently, a couple of things have been pointed out to me and I’m wondering if some of my choices are fueled by a feeling of invincibility, a desire to tempt fate, or a belief that my life isn’t as precious or important as it actually is. I asked some friends to tell me their risk-taking behavior and some did, but I don’t think I got 100% honesty. Either that or everyone really is way better at caring for themselves than I am.
  • The Who told me yesterday that my bed was “the coziest bed ever” and it’s funny because I had just been thinking the opposite. It’s too firm and the mattress-topper keeps shifting and annoying me. I do, however, have the coziest blankets ever. So, there’s that.
  • I love rubrics.
  • I never cease to be delighted by The Who in ballet attire.
    Photo Mar 04, 11 31 56 AM
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One thought on “Bullets.

  1. I think of self destruction a lot because I come from a whole long lineage of self destroyers. And because I don’t drink much or do drugs, I am aware of the small ways in which my saboteur and destruction shows up – not flossing, not sleeping enough, resisting other self care practices. Oy!!!!

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