Here’s what I want you to know about right now: I need my child to stfu. I mean, I need it. Like, if he doesn’t stfu, I am going to lose my mind. More than I have already lost it on him today.

I can’t tell if it’s my irritability (8 days out) or if he really is more annoying than usual today, but whatever the reason, he has crawled right under my skin and taken up residence. From the second he woke up, he has had a constant emittance of noise coming from his face. His usual chatter, sure, but then even when he’s not talking, he is humming or beeping or bipping or singing. Right now, for example, a full 25 minutes since we said goodnight to him, he is in his bed, infuriatingly humming one single note, pausing only to draw a breath when he runs out. Is he listening to his voice? Noticing the vibration it makes on his lips? I don’t know and whatever it is, I’m sure it’s fascinating and important and not something I want to squelch. But for god’s sake, make it stop.

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