Resolve.

There’s only so long I can go into 2013 without writing down my resolutions.

See, some people don’t “do” resolutions. I used to be one of those people. Like, I was too cool to play into the hype. Like resolving to do something was meaningless if you did it for New Year’s. No one keeps New Year’s resolutions. They’re all about bettering myself and that’s like admitting there’s something wrong with me. These were the roadblocks I put up. These were the reasons for not having to do hard things. But sometime in the past few years (yes, it really took me that long to get here) I figured out that I was only making excuses for myself. And that “bettering” myself doesn’t automatically mean that I am bad to begin with. In fact, resolving to make a change doesn’t even have to mean bettering myself. It really only has to mean that I am committing to try to do something new. Or different. Interesting, maybe. It’s a challenge to myself and so what if I happen to decide to put forth that challenge on the first day of the new year?

I like new beginnings. I am wooed by clean slates. Fresh paper. A brand new box of 64 (which is now a box of 96, which seems a little over the top.) I love the kind of forgiveness we can give ourselves and one another simply because one date turned into another at midnight. I heard somewhere that in order to give a resolution a fair shake, you should make it in writing, examine why you’re making it, and then decide how you’re going to make it happen. Of course, none of this needs to be public, but because I’m me, it will be.

So, here they are. These are the things I am going to try my very hardest to do this year. And why. And how.

  1. Spend less time interacting with technology and more time interacting with people.
    It, of course, seems ironic to be posting that here on my public blog, from my laptop, with the television on and my phone at my side, but there it is. My reasons for making this resolution are twofold. First, I think that my interaction with technology stunts my personal growth. I think that the more I look to computers and phones and games to find my answers, make my connections, and fill my “down-time”, the less I am able to grow and flourish as a person. People need people. Even people who don’t need people as much as I do still need people. We need human interaction. We need to touch people. To kiss our friends hello on the cheek. To hold kids on our laps. I need this and I get less and less of it the more time I spend with my devices.
    To this end, I plan to do a couple of things. The first is to not charge my phone each night. If I don’t begin the day with a full charge, the more likely I am to try to conserve battery through the day and the less I will use my phone, naturally. I have found that hiding my phone, putting it away, and turning it off don’t work for me. I become preoccupied with when I can next look at it, post from it, text via it, etc. Having it available, but in a more limited way, I hope, will help. I also plan to limit my technology “sessions.” If I turn on my laptop to read Facebook, then I will read it until I am up to date and then turn it off in favor of another activity. If I log on to post to the blog, I will post to the blog and then log off. Making my online intentions clear to myself before going online will help me both stay on-task and remember to log off instead of mindlessly refreshing for hours.
  2. Play more with The Who.
    I recognize that it has gotten to a place where every time The Who asks me if I want to play, my default answer [in my head, at least] is no. So, I am resolving to change my inner voice. I’m doing this because I’ve got a very intuitive kid (don’t we all?) who has to know when my play is insincere. And what a crappy thing that must be for a kid — to feel like your parent is only playing with you out of obligation. He’s just four now. He might not be putting that together intellectually yet, but I can promise that in the next year or so, it’s going to click and he’s eventually going to stop asking me to play and I don’t ever want that to happen.In order to accomplish this, I am resolving to say yes at least once a day and mean it. To find time in every day when my whole self is in his play with him. I give myself permission to limit the choice of activities to those things that I enjoy doing with him (MagnaTiles, Legos, Board Games, Coloring, Baking, Car Mat, Craft Projects) to facilitate the fun for both of us. Good thing his mommy likes doing the other things (Firetrucks, Trains, and Play-Doh.)

There are a couple of others around money and cleaning, but I’m going to keep them to myself for now. I will still write them down with this same format, but I’m choosing not to publish them now. Surprise, surprise. There are still a few things I don’t tell the whole world.

So, tell me: what do you resolve to do and how will you make it happen? I’d love to know.

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4 thoughts on “Resolve.

  1. I like the idea of writing things down as a way to make yourself more accountable. Something I would like to change about myself this year is my negative/judgmental thinking about myself and other people. I pretty much usually manage not to voice my judgmental thoughts about other people (although sometimes I am still guilty of it), but I still *think* it, and it still feels bad. Facebook tends to be a place where people are saying a lot of negative things, and then others then feel it’s OK for them to comment and say “Yeah, she really is a bitch!” or whatever. So, what I’m going to try and do is use antidotes. If I catch myself thinking something mean or judgmental about someone, I will make myself think or say aloud something nice about them, or a positive wish for them. Same goes for if I think or say something bad about myself. Maybe eventually this antidoting will retrain my mind not to “go there” with the negative in the first place.

  2. OK, I take it back … I have some battles going that I want to win in the next year: Keeping Tim’s Medicare and Medicaid benefits intact in the face of even liberals thinking saving money on the sickest and most disabled is possible (yeah they cost more … duh … what natural disaster doesn’t?), and stopping the a-holes that want to plant a REGIONAL (i.e.,huge!) garbage transfer station 1/4 mile from our house. I’m starting my training for these by reading “Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking” … I need all the power of my anger/righteous indignation, intellect, and intuition, and political allies to battle the beasts of 2013!

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