How it went.

I was waiting for it to happen, and frankly, I thought he’d ask about a daddy first, but this morning as we were putting on our shoes and zipping up our jackets, The Who looked up at me and said, “Mama? Why do I have TWO mommies?”

Despite my rush to get out the door (him to school and me to work) and the chaos of the early weekday morning, I registered the importance of the question. One of those questions that, as a parent of a young child (and especially a queer parent of a young child), you wait for and think about and plan for, but are never fully prepared for. Where do babies come from?  Where do you go when you die? What is God? Why do I have two mommies?

I told him that his Mommy and I love each other and got married (hoping that when he is really old enough to know, our marriage will actually be legal and recognized in our home state) and we decided to have a child, so we are both his mommies together. That seemed to sate him. He flipped the last velcro on his sneaker over, pulled the hood of his sweater onto his head, and said, “Oh. Ok.”

So, that’s how that went.

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6 thoughts on “How it went.

  1. You are amazing…fairly straightforward and simple answer to a simple question…at this point in time at least. Good job! I would have launched into a longer explanation and probably would have gone over his head right now,

  2. Very nicely done. But WHAT? It’s not legal there? What the fuck century are we in? Why must this be a political issue? What does that do for your legal rights for each other and for Who?

    One of Max’s close friends has two daddies, but Max’s big curiosity about that thus far has been about why E doesn’t have a mommy. Rather, where his mommy IS. So it was actually a discussion about adoption.

  3. I know, right? Nearly the whole country sucks. However, we are all good. We have wills and documents and statements of beneficiary, etc. And The Who has been adopted, so he’s all legal n’ stuff.

  4. This is funny- my dad is gay and he told me when I was 13- when he told me he said he had big news and he looked all pale. After he told me, I wondered what the other news was that was so bad bc the whole gay thing was old news to me lol. Things were different then. Hope you get to get married soon in your state- here in MD we are probably voting on it in the next election- cause, you know, civil rights should be voted on and stuff- not. Oh well. All the best to you and your family.

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