Today has been one of those days where, if I didn’t laugh about it, I would cry. Honestly, I actually stood over the sink, nearly weeping with frustration and sheer exhaustion.
Now, it would be one thing to just be tired from being woken up every two hours. And it would be another thing to be tired from being woken up every two hours and then have to parent a cooperative child. But today I am tired from being woken up every two hours and then have to parent an also-tired, uncooperative, willful 2-year-old who snatched his hand away from me in a parking lot and dashed away, laughing, and then spent the next 7 hours asking more questions than I ever thought possible.
Honestly. Friends told me about their question-asking kids, but I never understood it until I lived it.
Here are 30 minutes. Just 30. Thirty out of the 600 we spend together every day.
Why we all done with gym class?
Because it was over.
Why it was over?
Because we did all of our activities.
Where are these [puzzle] pieces?
I put them away.
Why you put them away?
Because we didn’t need them in the car.
Why we didn’t need them? I want them, Mama. I want to have them, Mama.
I will give them to you at home.
Why you will give them to me at home? Why we going this way?
Because we are going to the store.
Why we going? Why we going up here?
Because this is the way we go there.
Oh. Why we gonna buy something right here?
Because we need to have new soap for you.
Why we gonna park our car?
Because we have to put the car somewhere so no one hits it when they are driving.
Remember we went on the train and the poopy bus?
Yes, but it’s not really a poopy bus.
Why we didn’t go on the poopy bus?
Well, it’s just a bus. Max called it a poopy bus.
Why we going here?
I’m going to get some coffee.
Why you need coffee?
I’m very tired.
Why we gonna park our car, Mama? I wanna park our car there.
I’m gonna park it right here.
I don’t wanna park it here. Why you wanna get some coffee, Mama?
Because I am thirsty and tired.
I thirsty and tired, too, Mama. I thirsty and I tired. Why we have to go in here?
Because that’s where the coffee is.
Mama, why you have those shoes on?
Because these are the shoes I chose today. Please leave that cup there.
Why we have to leave that cup there?
Because it’s not ours.
I want my drink.
I’ll get it for you.
I want my driiiiiink, Mama!
Why are you crying?
I don’t know. Mama, where’s the red button?
On the back of the keychain. But don’t push it.
Why I can’t push it? Mama, why I can’t push the red button?
Because it will make a very loud noise.
Oh. Mama, what is this? Mama, why I put this right here?
Because you wanted to.